Twisted Amygdala.I'm just getting a little worried. It seems to be an increasing occurrence that mental patients talk to me.Just today I walked past two, an old awful man who smokes and hacks and drinks coke constantly, and a woman, who I've not seen often enough to know any of her habits, they said hello, and then the lady said 'mmm pretty'. She sounded like a witch on a cartoon, ‘mmm preeeetty’.My question is WHY?Why is it only mental patients who think I'm pretty / nice / gorgeous? I don't want to end up with a mental patient husband. Maybe that's a wrong thing to say, but I mean an institutionalised person who looks a bit scary and I'm sorry, but I just couldn't handle it.I'm a bitch, a horrible person, what ever. I'm just being honest. It isn’t part of my dream life, meeting my husband at the locked doors, taking him out on day trips, that is assuming he is allowed out on day trips, it isn’t quite my ideal situation.But why do they talk to me? Am I completely and totally one of those people you see who looks like you just couldn't or wouldn't want to talk to? Am I the person you avoid like the plague because I don't know, I look horrible or something?I just get sick of patients being the only people in the world who can see my good qualities. Well, asides from good friends, but if you've known me for any length of time, you don't count. Sorry, in my present mood and state of mind, you don't count. I can't change how I feel.Of course you count, but not in this moment, and this thought pattern.

The main problem is that even the patients are slowing down; none of them have approached me in a little while. Ahhh that might be a slight lie. On Monday morning as I walked into reception, a patient was sat resting her legs and she shouted with a glee laden voice “you’ve got ginger hair like meeeee!” It was rather sweet, but I don’t like to think of my hair as ginger. It’s more like a bright copper gold colour.


Apparently it’s something to do with symmetry that makes a face attractive / approachable. It’s also been said that it has something to do with having big eyes. Now I don’t have googly eyes, but they’re not teeny squinty things either. Maybe it’s something in the medication. Makes their brain work differently, and makes them like me. Now if I could just get my hands on some of those drugs and feed it to all the cute guys I see.
I like the other option, I’m just so beautiful, that regular people are scared to talk to me, and the patients aren’t scared. Yeah, I’d like to be beautiful. Let’s stick with that.