Column?

I thought I may aswell try to write my column here and hopefully I can copy and paste it into an email to send off...
I'll see how it goes, I am still unsure what it will be about...

So, I find myself sitting in an internet cafe in Taupo, and it finally has set in, I am back in New Zealand.
After arriving two weeks ago, to a broken family and a dying grandmother (which I won't dwell on, so as not to depress you,) I have now been literally all over the place.
Lets focus on the physical, not the emotional rollercoaster, and by physical I don't mean the terribly horny boys you find in the bars, and run away from quickly once you've tongued them...

I have driven around seeing friends, who are now spread far and wide. While I was driving I came to a realisation. I love New Zealand. Being away for such a long time, I thought the pull of the beautiful green country was getting weaker, but it seems all it takes is a couple of weeks looking at the breathtaking views and catching up with good friends, and I don't really want to leave.

It is scary, because I do have to leave again, otherwise that open return was just a waste of money, (although wasting money wouldn't be out of character) but I realise that I have a year to put it off, and put it off. I think I should go back quickly, like a band aid. I can never, ever bring myself to rip a band aid off that fast though. I peel it back slowly, almost relishing the pain it brings. That sounds sick, but it isn't. Everyone loves a little pain every now and again.

There is something idyllic about New Zealand, something beautiful that sucks you in and threatens not to let go. It attaches itself to you and ties you to it for your lifetime. I was worried that I would end up English, and that I wouldn't want to return, but would feel obligated to come back to my family and friends, but now, I know that is an unlikely occurance.

I also know what posesses people to ask me "Why did you leave New Zealand? Why did you come here?" England is a wonderful place and an awesome base for travelling, but New Zealand is a keeper. They don't understand how isolated you are in New Zealand, how far away it is to go anywhere but Australia and the Islands. There you can hop across to Europe, for peanuts and you can see the world, the history, the culture. I didn't understand how much I loved New Zealand until I left. I think that's the lesson today. This country is amazing, and when you compare it to anywhere else, you don't know how lucky you are, but sometimes it takes a while to comprehend the wonders of your homeland, and travelling might just be the way.

New Zealand - It's the future.